Reclaiming Us Read online

  “Lilly—”

  “Don’t fucking ‘Lilly’ me. When the hell were you going to tell me about the Air Force? When you left for basic?” she snapped. “Couples are supposed to talk about these kinds of things.” She popped her hip and pressed a hard glare at him.

  “Geezh, Lils. I only got the call today.” He huffed while pulling at his short hair. “I didn’t even take the test yet.”

  I looked at RJ while pointing at our best friends and whispered, “Did you know about this?” He looked at me, but he didn’t need to say anything. The look in his eyes was all the answer I needed. “Are you going with him?” I hoped he would say no, but how selfish would that make me?

  “I’ve thought about it.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t get a call back . . . yet.”

  I stood there in disbelief. I knew RJ and Tyler dreamed of enlisting, but shouldn’t they have at least mentioned their plans to Lilly and me? Were we insignificant in their decisions?

  I shifted my attention back to our bickering friends, trying to process what it would mean for RJ and me if he did get that call, and watched as Tyler’s truck peeled out, leaving us standing near a cloud of dust.

  “We need to talk.” I didn’t take my eyes off the fading taillights as I spoke the words.

  What was I supposed to say to that? I probably should have mentioned it sooner, confided in her, but I didn’t. Now, her pretty face was tainted by a frown, and her hand fisted on her hip. Addie’s body language said it all. She was pissed, hurt, and most likely disappointed. That was what hurt the most. Mumbling words that I couldn’t make out, Addie began stomping barefoot back to my truck.

  I knew I should have talked to her about it, but it wasn’t like she talked to me before she started applying for colleges, she just did it and kept me posted on which ones had responded. She never even really asked me for my input. I wasn’t mad about it. I knew that was her endgame. It didn’t change the fact that she would be leaving, and as much as we talked about my waiting for her, I wanted to do something with my life, too. I needed and wanted to make myself a better person for her. Someone she would be proud to have on her arm in four years.

  When I climbed into the truck, she all but refused to look at me, choosing to stare out her window instead. Her body language screamed for me to leave her alone, but hell if that was going to happen.

  I slid in closer to her, wrapped my arm around the top of her chest, and pulled her back into me. My lips met her silky blonde hair, and I pressed a kiss to the back of her head, lingering there for a minute.

  “I’m sorry. I know I should’ve said something sooner.” I paused. “But all this change is messing with me. I don’t know what the hell to do here.”

  The sound of her sniffling was a straight shot to my heart. She dabbed under her eyes and gripped my arm. “I get it, I do, but what happened to talking about things? I never left you out of anything and I feel . . .” She shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe that I’m not important enough for you to feel like you should share these kinds of things with me? I am your girlfriend or is there something else you need to tell me?”

  My entire body tensed. “Addie. Don’t even—” I warned and turned her toward me. “Ty and I talked to a recruiter. You knew it was something we had always talked about. Just like you going to college is something I’ve always known. Yes, he got a call back to meet with him in about a week or so, but I haven’t. There was nothing to tell you yet.” She wiggled her way out of my arms, turned, and glared at me. “Will you quit and let me finish!” I puffed out a hot breath. “I applied to UNC, too. I probably got rejected, though. That was the mail my mom said was on the counter waiting for me.”

  Her lips parted in surprise. “You want to come with me to North Carolina?”

  “I want to be wherever you are.” I ran my thumb across her cheek again. “There is probably no chance of my getting in, so I didn’t want to tell you about that until I knew. No use getting our hopes up and all that.” Frustration settled in the pit of my gut. I shifted in my seat and rested my head back against the headrest.

  “RJ, I get that. But I love you, I want to be part of your decisions, ya know?”

  “I know, and I love you, too. So much that it hurts, Addie Mae.” I pulled her in close for a hug and kissed the side of her head. “We good?” Her smile confirmed her forgiveness. “Buckle up.”

  Tack—Tack—Tack!

  Tack—Tack—Tack!

  I rolled over and glanced at my alarm clock. It was almost eleven at night, but I smiled anyway.

  Addie was standing, half hidden in the deep shadows of a tree so she wouldn’t trip the security lights, her eyes shifting between the front door of my house and my window. When she saw me standing there, she did a quick hop‑run‑skip over to me.

  “What are you doing here, babe?” I whispered, popping the screen from my window as quietly as I could. I set it on the ground outside, grabbed the back of her neck, and pulled her in close for a kiss. “Mmmm, bubble gum—my favorite.” She smiled against my lips but then took a step back.

  “Can you come out for a minute?” She licked her lips nervously.

  I glanced down. I was only wearing a pair of boxers. When I looked back up, I made sure to have my cocky grin in place. “Or you could come in?”

  She shook her head, and shyness settled across her pretty face. “Nope. I want to show you something.”

  “Okay, give me a sec to get some clothes on first.”

  Rushing around my room, I found a clean T-shirt and pair of jeans, slipped into my Chucks, and climbed out the window.

  “Follow me.”

  I didn’t question where she was taking me. Honestly, I was too focused on the stretch of skin between the top of her boots and the bottom of her dress to care.

  “So how was dinner with your family?”

  “It was good. I wish you could have joined us, but I understand.”

  “Babe, you know I wanted you to have some time with your family.” I reminded her.

  Walking a block down the road, we finally came to a dead stop next to a brand new car. My jaw slacked; I looked at Addie, looked at the car, and then back at her. “Is this yours?”

  She nodded, biting back her smile. “Um-hmm. It’s my graduation present.”

  “Hot damn, your parents did good.”

  Her smile widened. “Wanna go for a ride?”

  “Lead the way.” I led her to the driver’s side door and held it open.

  Addie sat behind the wheel, and before she could do it herself, I reached in and buckled her seatbelt right before I stole another kiss.

  As soon as I slid into the passenger seat, I looked over my shoulder to the back. It was huge, and I made a mental note for us to “bless” the car if we ever got to that point.

  Chuckling, I shook my head. “So where to?”

  “Sit back and relax.” She turned the key, unlocked the hand brake, and shifted the car into drive. I held my hand suspended over the radio dial, waiting for permission.

  “Go ahead.”

  Finding a station we both agreed on was an easy one, so when my favorite country rock station came on, I sat back and smiled. Truly happy for my girl and this gift she deserved, especially since she worked so hard these last four years.

  I sat there admiring Addie the whole time she drove, secretly falling in love with the feel of the leather and the brand new smell. So much that it didn’t dawn on me where Addie had driven us. Not until I heard the sound of her tires crunching gravel.

  “Are you sure you want to drive down there?”

  “What’s a little dust?” She braked and looked at me. “Besides. It gives you a reason to come over. We can get wet together and wash her while I’m in my swimsuit.” She winked, and I groaned.

  “You are evil, you know that?” I squeezed the top of her thigh, and my dick jumped. Addie giggled and we continued down the dusty road, finally coming to a complete stop on the far east end of the Crenshaw property.r />
  She stopped, put the car into park, and then reached up to slide back the moon roof, revealing what looked like a comet floating through the night sky.

  Once our seats were parallel, we lay on our sides facing one another, getting lost in each other. Addie was breathtakingly beautiful with her sky blue eyes and perfect creamy skin. Every time I caught a glimpse of her long blonde hair, I wanted to wrap it around my fist and do untold things to her. I closed my eyes, thinking how happy I was.

  “Truth or Dare.” She tossed out.

  I wanted to laugh. Her hidden agenda was painfully obvious, but I didn’t. I did, however, have to press my lips together to hide the smile.

  “Truth or Dare, babe. It’s not that hard, you only have two choices,” she repeated, impatient for my answer.

  “Dare.”

  “Figures.” She started to tap her fingertip against her lips. “Hmm . . .”

  “Sing a song to me.” Now it was her turn to hold back her laugh.

  “You would do that to me, wouldn’t you? Leave it to my girlfriend to want to make an ass out of me.” Addie knew I couldn’t carry a tune worth shit, but a dare was a dare. I took my time and contemplated my song choice. Well, at least the chorus of one I could sing without sounding like a total dipshit.

  A minute or so passed where I mentally scanned my playlists, and then my mouth twisted into an I’ve-got-you grin. I cleared my throat a bit dramatically and belted out the words, “Twinkle, twinkle, little star—”

  “RJ,” Addie whined and lightly smacked my arm. “That’s the best you could come up with?”

  I nodded, my throat thick with emotion as I answered, “Yup.” Pointing up to the open sunroof, I added, “See, they’re twinkling just for you.” She laughed again, and the beautiful sound hit straight to my heart. “I love you, Addie Mae,” I whispered nervously.

  “I know and I love you, too,” she reciprocated with another beautiful Addie Mae smile.

  “Your turn. Truth or dare?”

  “Dare.” That would be my girl—always up for a challenge. I thought long and hard, trying to pick just the right dare.

  “Tonight would be nice.”

  “I’m thinking, I’m thinking. I need to make this a good one.” I chuckled. “How about . . .” She looked at me, and the blue in her eyes had grown two shades darker. “We both get naked and hop in the backseat.” I swallowed and tried to smile to take the edge off what I had dared her.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  I stared at her, waiting for her to decide for herself if I was or not. Her pupils dilated, and her lips parted seconds before her hand touched the door handle. I grabbed onto her arm to stop her.

  “Addie Mae.” My throat felt like it was closing in. “That was the dumbest . . .” I closed my eyes for a few seconds. “Babe, we are not doing that on a dare. I’m sorry, I was being stupid.”

  The disappointment on her face gutted me and only made it worse when she turned away.

  “Come here.”

  “Where?”

  “Here.” I patted my thigh.

  “There?” She pulled back, clearly confused, and pointed to the open space between my legs. It was obvious she was working it out in her head how she was going to maneuver her body onto my lap.

  “Climb over the hand brake.” I held my open arms out to her and spread my thighs wider, not that it made a difference. My right knee hit the door panel, and I adjusted the position of my ass, giving her a little more wiggle room. Legs first, ass second, she finally made it over the console and settled against me.

  “Ughh.” I grunted, and she giggled as she shifted a bit.

  “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

  “Of course it was.” I leaned forward and caught her bottom lip between my teeth before letting it go and sealing my lips to hers.

  She raked her fingers through my hair, and my dick swelled, stirring up every dirty thought in the back of my mind. Our tongues touched, and we lost ourselves in the kiss.

  “Lift up for a second.” I grabbed the back of my T-shirt, pulled it over my head, and tossed it to the back. Her eyes roved over my bare chest, her breaths grew shorter, faster, and a flush rose over her skin.

  She pressed her palms to my chest and pushed me back into the reclined seat. Craving the feel of her soft skin, I snuck both of my hands under her dress and grabbed her ass. She rolled her hips, grinding down on me.

  Wanting to explore every inch of her sweet body, I slowly trailed my hand up but halted at her rib cage. The design of her dress restricted me from going any higher.

  Instead, my hands changed their course of action and ventured south, halting at the junction of her thighs. Heat flared over every inch of me, but then everything in me ceased. I concentrated on my labored breathing, and I refused to take this farther on a game of Truth or Dare.

  “Babe?”

  “Umm-hmm.” She continued grinding down on me while she dragged her soft lips from the center of my chest all the way up to my ear. She snuck her hand between our bodies, popping the button of my jeans.

  “Babe—” I gulped and reached down to grab her wrist. She was faster. Her hand had already snuck its way into my boxers.

  “Ughh,” I hissed. Damn, her soft hands felt like heaven wrapped around my hot skin.

  With a mind of its own, my hand wrapped around hers as we stroked in tandem. I was going to come. Three more strokes and I’d be a goner.

  “Babe . . .” I rocked my hips in tune with her hand. Two more strokes, I was so close. “Wait! Addie Mae, wait!”

  “What is it?” She looked at me with lust-filled eyes.

  “We didn’t finish our game.” I exhaled a hard breath.

  “Forget the game, I like this a whole lot better.” She kissed the hollow of my throat and inched her lips lower until she had my zipper down and my cock out. We needed to stop, but then her warm breath hit me and, for the briefest of moments, my brain cells all stopped working at once.

  Not giving her the chance to push the situation, I quickly tucked myself back into my boxers and zipped up my jeans. When I got a good look at the expression on her face, I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Her brows were pinched together, and her lips were in a bubble gum flavored pout.

  “Babe, quit. I told you, we are not going to have sex our first time because of a dare.” I brushed the back of my knuckle against her cheek and lowered my voice. “You’re worth so much more than that.”

  Her pout turned into a soft smile, and thank fuck for that. I couldn’t take it if she felt rejected.

  Coming down from our crazy horny high, she got comfortable and tucked her body into my side, letting her head fall into the crook of my neck. Tingles ran all over me as she traced lazy hearts along my chest, continuing down the length of my stomach until she again reached the waist of my jeans.

  “I love you, babe.”

  “I love you, too.” She brought her hand up and caressed my cheek. “So . . . did you get a call yet?”

  “Not yet. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get a call. Maybe it’s just not in the cards for me. I’m also starting to think I’m not as lucky as you, Ty, and Lils. Seems like the three of you have your lives all mapped out.”

  “Why are you always so hard on yourself?” She kissed my chest and ran her hand gently across it. The feelings this girl made me feel were extraordinary. I had no clue how I would be able to go months on end without her.

  “I really wish you had told me about all of this sooner. There’s got to be something that you can do. What if the military doesn’t call, then what?”

  “I don’t know, Addie, I wish I could tell you, but I never put much thought into it. All I ever wanted was to be wherever you were.” I scoffed. “That sounds so damn pathetic.”

  “No, it doesn’t. It just makes me think how much you really love me.”

  I linked our fingers together, holding her hand to my lips. I wasn’t lying when I said all I ever wanted was t
o be with her. Careers and jobs were easy to come by, but the girl of your dreams, once in a lifetime.

  “I dare you to answer my question truthfully,” I whispered into her hair.

  “Huh . . . we’re still playing that?”

  “Why not?”

  “Okay.” I felt the barest shrug of her shoulder against me.

  “Marry me.”

  “Excuse me?” She lifted away from me and gave me a look of pained in different levels of shock.

  What the fuck was I thinking? She probably thought I was panicking. I was panicking.

  She would be gone soon, and then what? For the next four years, I would only be in her way, holding her back. I shuddered as it zipped through my mind. I didn’t want that for either of us.

  What the fuck had I done?

  What the fuck was happening?

  “Addie, babe. Say something, please?” My heart hammered out beats as the blood swooshed up to my ears. Fuck, this was making me dizzy.

  When the fuck did I hand over my balls on a silver platter?

  When you went ahead and fell in love with the girl, stupid.

  Who the fuck are you calling stupid, stupid!

  You’re calling yourself stupid, you moron!

  Addie sat up a bit so she could look at me. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, and I closed my eyes, refusing to see the rejection written all over her face.

  Before I could comprehend what I was doing, my hand reached for the door handle. I shoved the door open, prepared to just walk home. It wasn’t until my foot actually hit the ground that my rational side gave me a slap upside the back of the head. Common sense kicked in and told me to take a couple of deep breaths and chill the fuck out. Addie did not deserve this shit from me.

  “RJ. Why would you ask me to marry you?” Her voice was soft. When our eyes met, her glassy-eyed stare penetrated my worried one.

  “Truth, remember? It’s okay, you can tell me the truth,” I reassured her without considering what her answer could possibly do to me. She sighed again, and I had a half mind to say forget it. I knew I was being stupid. Who the hell got married at this age anyway?