Reclaiming Us Read online

  “It’s okay. I want to, I’m a little nervous that’s all.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. Yes, I was a lot nervous, like shaking in my boots nervous, and it didn’t hit me until that second that pain was going to be involved. I mentally palm slapped my forehead, I was such an idiot.

  Holding tight to my hand, RJ led us into the tattoo shop. A bell dinged, and I took a quick look around as we entered. The lobby walls were gray, the floors were chrome, the leather sofas were white, and the display cases were black with gleaming glass. I took a closer look at the framed photos of past clients with their tattoos and then down a long red hallway with doorways lining each side with curtains instead of doors. The buzzing sound of tattoo guns competed with the music playing over the hidden speakers, and all of a sudden, it started to feel just a bit too real.

  “Hey, guys, what can I do for ya?” the girl behind the display case asked. I couldn’t help but stare, she was gorgeous. “Wait!” She popped her gum. “Let me guess, you want matching tattoos?” Then she made a show of fiddling with her tongue ring.

  “How’d you know?” Lilly asked, her voice hinted confusion.

  The girl shrugged. “Lucky guess.” Then she winked. “Y’all know what you want or did you need to see some designs?”

  “I have an idea,” RJ whispered in my ear.

  “We know what we want,” Tyler answered and looked at Lilly with a beaming smile.

  “Okay, first I’ll need everyone’s IDs.”

  The four of us pulled our identifications out and laid them on the counter. The girl inspected each and compared it to the respectful owner before handing it back. Then grabbed four packets of papers and pens.

  “We’ve got some paperwork that needs to be filled out prior to your session.” She handed each of us a pen and gave us a few minutes to read over each sheet. Lilly, Tyler, and RJ whipped through their questionnaires, but I actually read mine.

  “All right, you two, follow me.” She pointed to Lilly and Tyler. “We’ll get you set up in a room, and I’ll go over a few other things with you.” The three of them disappeared down the long red hallway, and RJ stepped up to my side.

  “Remember the promise we made?”

  How could I forget? His words were branded on my heart. I will never, not in this lifetime and the next, forget it. “I do.”

  “Well . . . what if we ink the words “I promise” on the inside of our pinky fingers? Then it’ll be a pinky promise, and it can never be broken.”

  I sighed. Happy and so in love with this man. Thinking about it, if we were getting something as permanent as tattoos, I should have accepted his offer of marriage. It’s not like we had to get married next week. We could have a ridiculously long engagement. “I love it. And I love you, it’s perfect.” I reached up on my tippy toes and kissed his cheek.

  “Y’all decided?” the tattoo receptionist asked as she came back to the front room.

  “We have,” RJ answered.

  “Well, then, follow me.” We followed her, and she spoke to us over her shoulder. “Y’all came in on a good night. We were slow as heck.” She flipped open a curtain and gestured for us to go in.

  “So, what are we doing today?” She began prepping the seating area. I’ve never been in a tattoo shop before and looking around, it oddly reminded me of a wild and intricately decorated dentist office.

  “On our pinkies,” RJ answered.

  “Ahh, the infamous pinky tattoo.” She hesitated. “Those are quite popular, but I do have to warn you . . .” RJ eyed her. “Have you read up on this type of tattoo at all?”

  We both shook our heads.

  “Well, there are a few things. It’s one of the most painful areas to get inked.” She looked between the two of us, making sure we understood the hidden meaning behind “painful”. “There is also a good possibility it’ll fade sooner than a tat placed elsewhere, so you will probably have to have it touched up.”

  “That’s fine.” RJ was barely listening to her anymore, but she didn’t seem to mind.

  “Fantastic. Carmine will be with you shortly to work up the stencil. Make yourselves comfortable.” She stepped out, but quickly popped her head back in. “Name’s Bree, if there’s anything else you need.”

  We both thanked her, and she left us in the chilly room to wait.

  It didn’t take long at all for Carmine to ink two simple yet powerful words on my pinky and then move on to RJ’s. When he was done slathering ointment and wrapping up RJ’s finger, he talked to us about aftercare, making sure to let us know that he’d love to tattoo either or both of us again if we ever wanted another one. He also let us know that he discounted touch ups of his own work, which was practical.

  “Hey, thanks, man.” RJ shook hands with Carmine.

  “Pleasure’s mine, dude.”

  “How’s about we wait in the lobby for Ty and Lil?” RJ asked, linking our non‑tattooed hands together.

  “Thanks, Carmine,” I called over my shoulder before walking out.

  About an hour later, Lilly came rushing out from the red hallway with Tyler not too far behind.

  “Let’s see, let’s see,” Lilly nagged.

  “Let’s see yours first.” I countered, eyeing the white bandage on her wrist.

  Lilly faced her palm toward the ceiling and carefully peeled back the tape around the edge. Inked in the middle of her wrist was a dainty compass, her permanent reminder of this night, a night we would never forget. Tyler revealed his matching design just a little larger.

  “It’s so we’ll always be able to find our way back to each other.” Lilly interpreted what the symbol meant to the both of them while staring starry eyed at her boyfriend and beamed a smile before turning back to RJ and me. “All right, your turn. Let’s see it.”

  I carefully peeled back the small bandage on my pinky, cringing from the pain and RJ did the same. Lilly grabbed my hand, inspecting the small script. “I promise,” she whispered the words and looked up at me from under her lashes, clearly confused. “It’s beautiful, and I love the placement, but what’s the story behind it?”

  “We made a pinky promise to always love one another,” RJ explained, thankfully leaving out the details about when the promise was actually made.

  “Aww, how sweet is that?” Lilly cooed.

  Bree waved sheets of paper toward us. “Don’t forget your aftercare sheets.”

  The four of us walked out of the tattoo shop with matching tattoos and grins. RJ wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him, careful not to bump my sore hand against his side.

  “Are you happy with it?” RJ snuck a quick glance toward my hand.

  “I am. I can’t believe how bad it hurt. Bree sure wasn’t kidding. After Carmine inked the ‘I’, I thought I was going to faint.” I laughed, forcing tears back.

  “Maybe the next one, we can tattoo our ass cheeks,” he teased.

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Crazy for you.” He kissed my lips. “Hey, Ty!” RJ said over his shoulder, but when he didn’t get an answer, he turned around. “Hey, quit sucking face,” he yelled, laughing and shaking his head.

  Tyler answered by waving his middle finger in dismissal, his mouth too busy to voice the words. We both laughed, and RJ opened the door before helping me in.

  “All right, jackass, I’ll see you tomorrow. See ya later, Lils,” he called to our friends.

  “Bye, guys.”

  They both just waved, refusing to come up for air.

  “Anything else you want to do?” he asked as he closed his door and started the truck.

  I shrugged shyly. There was one thing I was always up for, but I felt silly initiating it.

  “Babe, you can ask. You don’t have to look at me like that.”

  Feeling like an idiot, I looked away, but RJ pulled my chin to face him. “Babe, I love you. Do not be ashamed to ask me to love you.”

  I nodded and stalled before finding my courage and whispered, “I want you to make love to me.” I b
it the side of my cheek. His hand came around to the back of my neck and pulled my lips closer to his. “Your wish is my command, my beautiful girl.”

  Our lips touched, and our tongues swirled in a gentle dance. RJ kissed me harder, pulling me closer to him and sinking his hand into the back of my hair. A warm sensation flowed from my chest right to where I needed him. I had just shifted and was about to straddle his lap when a flash of headlights illuminated the cab of the truck and a blaring horn startled us away from each other. I looked out the windshield in time to see Tyler wave out his window as he popped the horn one last time.

  “Motherfu—” RJ started to cuss, but he didn’t quite get the whole word out before he started chuckling. “Bastard did it again.” He paused to stare out the window. “It’s getting late, maybe I should take you home.” I pouted and sat back in my seat. I didn’t like it, but he was right. He chuckled again as he snapped my seatbelt into place, reassuring me that, “Tomorrow’s another night.”

  I took a seat on a short stack of lumber away from the rest of the crew. I needed a few minutes to myself. From the minute I slid out of bed this morning, I felt like a cloud of crap hovered above me. Time was ticking faster as each day passed, leaving me behind in its wake . . . alone and in a constant low-grade panic.

  The letter I got in the mail a few weeks back from the University of North Carolina came to mind again. It had politely and professionally let me know that I could go fuck myself. Time was running out. We had seven days before Addie Mae would be gone and I would be all alone. Each time I contemplated packing my bags and going with her, my voice of reason reminded me how selfish I was acting.

  Mumbling choice words at the thought of the crumpled fancy‑logoed paper I had shoved in the trash, the question “now what” hit me like a sucker punch. Tyler would be leaving for his basic training at Langley Air Force Base in the morning. Lilly would be leaving for Alabama in a couple of days, Piper was on her way to Texas already, and a bunch of our other friends were long gone.

  I drew in a slow and steady breath when a sudden urge had me wanting to pull my hair out. It was a good thing I didn’t have anything in my hands, otherwise, whatever it was would have been fast‑pitched against my truck.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I swore to myself it would not be my victim as I pulled it out. There was a picture of Addie blowing me a kiss, and the subject simply read, “I love you.” This girl would always have my heart. I sent her a quick text back, asking her what time she would be home from work. She was still working at the camp, and every day she would come home drained but happy. She had fallen in love with those kids, but I knew she was ready for the camp to come to an end.

  Addie: Same as always! :) Can we hang out at your house?

  Me: Anything you want, babe.

  “When I’m a principal and you’re some hot shot CEO of your daddy’s company . . .” Addie’s words played in my head. She was always so encouraging, finding the silver lining in most shitty situations. I had been so negative lately, dwelling on all that I was losing, not once did I give myself the chance to think deeper about what I would be good at. There were other things I could do, right? There had to be. Maybe if I took the time and talked to my dad, he could help me figure something out.

  My phone vibrated again.

  Ty: Meet me for a beer after work?

  Me: Your place?

  Ty: Yup.

  Me: I’ll be there.

  After pushing the send button, I tucked my phone in my back pocket, took a deep breath, and headed back for the second half of my workday.

  By the time five o’clock rolled around, I was in desperate need of that beer.

  I pulled up at Ty’s house, parked my truck, and hopped out. Ty’s dad was sitting all alone on the porch swing, so I smiled as I took the porch steps two at a time.

  “Hey, Mr. G, how are you?” I walked over and shook his hand.

  “Good, son, and you?”

  “Not too bad.” Another half‑truth.

  “Ty’s out back.”

  “Mrs. G inside?” I threw my thumb over my shoulder. “Wanted to say hi first.”

  “That’s probably not a good idea right now.” He tensed. “The Mrs. isn’t taking all this too well.”

  I lowered my gaze. “I understand. Tyler leaving has to be taking a toll on her. I’m sure my mother would’ve been sick to her stomach if I were in his shoes.” I wanted to be in his shoes. I tucked both hands in my front pockets.

  “You decide what you’re going to do now?” I looked him straight in the eyes, silently asking just what he was getting at. “Ty and I had a long talk one night. He mentioned your first test score not being quite high enough.”

  I cringed.

  “You know, son . . . sometimes in life there’s a plan that’s already set out for us. We don’t understand it, hell most times we don’t like it, we fight it, and we keep on fighting it, but there is something out there meant just for you. I know you boys dreamed of doing this together, but . . . maybe this just wasn’t that ‘something’ for you.”

  I nodded. Deep down I knew he was right, but I still didn’t have it in me to look past all the anger and disappointment I had.

  “Thanks, Mr. G.”

  “Anytime, son.” I began walking away when he called my name again, “RJ . . . and just because Tyler’s away, doesn’t mean you have to be a stranger. Door’s always open.”

  I swallowed hard. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  He nodded once, got up, and disappeared into the house.

  I found Ty sitting on the picnic table, his elbows dug into his thighs, a beer in his hand staring out at nothing.

  “What’s up, fucker?” I hopped up onto the table, grabbed the lone beer sitting next to him, and met him in a fist bump.

  He just humphed and kept staring at the bottle in his hands.

  “Why so blue, baby boo?” I cooed, trying to get a rise out of him. I took a swig from my bottle, but when Ty jabbed me in the side with his elbow, I almost spit beer everywhere. Of course he found this hilarious, so I tapped the top of his bottle with the bottom of mine, and his started to overflow. We laughed, cussed, and laughed some more, but then the air shifted when I asked, “You ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  “So, why the hell do you look like someone died?”

  He turned, eyeing me. “You realize what this all means, right?” His voice cracked.

  “Don’t give me none of that shit. You know you want this. We dreamed of this since we were kids.” I lowered my voice and looked away. “The only difference being my dream ends here.”

  “You don’t get it do you?” He disengaged.

  “Get what?”

  I waited. I gave him the minute I knew he needed.

  “This shit is not the same without you. We were supposed to do this together.” His voice rose, and he huffed out. “The chances of us actually being stationed in the same location were a long shot, I get it, but somehow we’d still get to live the dream—together.” He scuffed his boot against the bench.

  “Maybe I was never meant to live this dream?” I spit out the words his dad had said to me a few minutes ago.

  “Well, that’s just fucking bullshit.” His smile was tight as we sat there silent, gathering our thoughts. “I’m scared,” he admitted honestly. “A lot is changing. Too much. I have no idea what to do with Lils.” He got up and paced back and forth in front of the picnic table. “She’s going to school, and I’ll be in the military stationed only God knows where. The reality of this job is really setting in.” He looked me dead in the eye. “And what if by chance . . . I don’t make it back?”

  “Don’t you fucking say stupid shit like that.” I hopped off the table and shoulder bumped him. “You’re going to walk onto that base and make something of yourself.” He sat back down on the table. “You’ll come home on leaves, we’ll hang out and get totally fucked up, and then you’ll go back to your base—wash, rinse, repeat.” I pa
used, needing to get a grip. “I’ll stay here and do whatever the fuck it is I’m supposed to do.” I inhaled a long breath. “Make a few trips, check on my girl, and make sure no pricks have moved in on my territory. This is all one big mind fuck. We are letting fear set in because we have no idea what’s going to happen. That’s probably why I can’t get my head out of my ass most days.” When did I become so philosophical?

  “Yeah, you know . . . you’re right. Maybe you could tell my mom what you just said. She has a totally different opinion.”

  “Dude, she’s your mom. What do you expect?”

  “I just hate that she’s torn about this. She says she’s proud of me and that I’ll make an honest man of myself, but then she gets this look on her face when she doesn’t think anyone is watching. That’s what kills me, the way she tries to hide her fears for my sake.”

  I exhaled a heavy breath. “Dude, this is too fucking heavy for me. I thought we were having a beer, not sitting around like the fucking Golden Girls.” I chuckled. We exchanged the heavy shit for random shit, finishing both our beers and then dicking around. Ty’s flight would be departing at seven the next morning, meaning he had to be at the airport early. I said my good‑byes and hauled ass home to take a shower before Addie got there.

  I stood with a towel wrapped around my waist, water still dripping down my chest, and my fingertips digging into the moldings above my closet.

  My parents were at some function tonight, and I had no idea what Addie had in mind. She refused to let me pick her up, insisting that she wanted to drive, but I didn’t know if we were actually going anywhere. To be honest, I was too stressed to go out in public, but if my girl wanted to go out, I would go out.

  I pulled a pair of jeans from the stack, dropped the towel, and stepped into them. Who needed boxers when they were just another thing to take off, right? Ever since the night we made love in the back of my truck, Addie’s sexual appetite had soared. I wasn’t complaining, not even a little.

  The doorbell rang as I was walking to the kitchen, and I did an about‑face. When my hand hit the knob, I paused. I didn’t know why. I knew Addie was on the other side, but I just needed a minute.